September 20, 2018No Comments

What I think about when I think of you. Volume 1

1) Dear Anonymous,

There are some things about you I deeply respect, and there are others, I really can't stand. That's how you know we're true friends.

You taught me to be brave in a way no one has ever taught me before. I felt utterly fearless beside you as if we two had conquered the world and there we were together, standing on top of it, feeling the adrenaline rush of being such a powerful duo.

You were the teacher. I was a quick study but still a student. You reprimanded me for signs of weakness and so I continued to draw my strength from you until I could find it within myself. Your self-confidence was award-winning, mine a mere contestant. To the best of your abilities, you taught me to be carefree. But I'll never be just like you. We'll have to meet in the middle. I'll always care a little too much and you, not quite enough. Together, we care just enough.

Sincerely, yours truly


2) Dear Anonymous,

I've never met someone so simultaneously put together and yet so free-spirited and curious at the same time. Your mind is a geyser that never stops blowing, yet you're calm. You ask questions that force people to lay themselves bare for you to see and analyze under your brilliant eye. My eyes are trained just as intently as yours but my mind can't piece together the grand discovery you've made.

You inspire me. Where do your ideas come from? What do you do with the answers you receive? I think you're trying to find the answers to the universe. I just wish I could see the big picture that you have so masterfully drawn within your tightly packed brain.

Sincerely, yours truly


3) Dear Anonymous,

There has always been this irrational hatred I've felt towards you. I always thought it was mutual but I'll never really know. You were the first person to teach me what feminine competition can really be like. We didn't compete in many things but I thought you were always out to get me. Actually, I thought you were out to replace me. I was sure everyone liked you more than me.

Our competition for power was continuous (at least in my head). You made me wonder what it would feel like to be alone.

Now I'd like to thank you. I'll probably never forget my feelings toward you but at least our relationship has made me realize how ridiculous I've been. I've disliked you for reasons justifiable only in my scared, egotistical mind. You are the epitome of my immorality. But that doesn't bother me because at least now I understand the difference between who you are and how my mind created you. You've taught me to pick up on my uncalled for jealousy and not act upon it.

Women always have a sense of competition with one another but figuring out that alert in your head that you're being immoral is important. Now more than ever, women need to stick together. So, dear Anonymous, I extend you an olive branch as an example of peace between women in the hope that we can support and build each other up rather than tear each other down.

Sincerely, yours truly

August 23, 2018No Comments

What I think about when I think of you: Preface

The human brain is a crazy thing. You look at something and automatically your brain fires off thoughts and feelings about it. I like to keep tabs on these thoughts and feelings my brain comes up with but specifically about people. These people could be my crazy relatives (on the Thompson side specifically), the older woman with the extensive makeup ringing me up at Fred Meyer, the man who sits at the bus stop on Vermont and waves at every car that passes by, anyone.

I'm starting a new blog series called "What I think about when I think of you." It's formatted as letters written by "yours truly" (me) and addressed to "Anonymous" (anyone I'm thinking about at the moment). I'm keeping the receiver anonymous because I don't want to share any information about our relationship they're not comfortable with (that is if they even figure out it's about them) but also because it gives the series an air of mystery and who doesn't need a little intrigue to spice up their lives? These letters are coming straight from the inner workings of my brain, thoughts that come to my mind either when I see these people or when they randomly come to my mind after past encounters. I'm describing relationships, life lessons, things I admire about people, what I see on their surface and beneath their skin and bones. These are the words of my mind, not the receivers. The things I say are just my side of the story, fragments of my everyday emotions. I don't mean to offend anyone, only share a creative piece describing something within my brain.

I've said before this blog is like a public journal. This is where that becomes specifically prevalent because I'm putting into words the things I see and know about people in my life. These letters will have more meaning to me than they probably will have for you but I still think you could find something interesting in them. Maybe one of them is even about you...

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